operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via gayleywillliams)

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bootycap:

imagine a ghost getting brought back to life but they’ve been a ghost for so long that they have trouble adjusting. like, they keep running into walls and doors because they used to be able to just pass through them or they trip down the stairs because they used to float down them and sometimes they trip over their own feet because they forget how to walk all together 

(via courtneytimelow)

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He used the killer whales to sidetrack me from his real plan 😂
He’s legit trying to please me. 😂

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legalwifi:

you know what would look good on your face?

image

(via katieisgratie)

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